CSEFEL: Center on the Social and Emotional Foundations for Early Learning

CSEFELmoderator
Greetings, CSEFEL Chat participants. Welcome to the first in a series of Online Live Chats sponsored by the Center on the Social and Emotional Foundations for Early Learning (CSEFEL). Tonight's Chat is titled "What to Do When Children Say 'NO!'" To get started, let me introduce our guest speaker, Lise Fox, who is a professor in the Department of Child and Family Studies of the University of South Florida.

Lise Fox
Hi, everyone. I am happy to join you for a discussion about how to support children who may be resistive or noncompliant. All of us have encountered the toddler or preschooler who refuses to do what you have asked or what is expected. When this behavior is persistent, the adult needs to have a plan of how to respond. As I help you think about these situations, I will be drawing upon my knowledge of Positive Behavior Support. If you are unfamiliar with this approach, check out the What Works Brief on Positive Behavior Support published by the Center on the Social and Emotional Foundations for Early Learning. Simply stated, in this approach, challenging behavior is viewed as having meaning for the child. Challenging behavior will result in the child getting or getting out of something. When you take this approach and seek to understand the meaning, you can develop strategies for supporting the child to learn new skills to replace the problem behavior.

CSEFELmoderator
As this is the first CSEFEL Chat session, let's start with some instructions. The procedure for the live Chat session is as follows. Participants can send questions to the Chat guest at any time. When you send your question, please note that it will not be visible to all Chat participants. The CSEFEL Moderator receives the question first and will post it to the whole Chat group. If there's a long queue of questions, the Moderator will notify the questioner that the question was received. Then, at the next break in the discussion, the question will be posted for all to see and for our guest to answer.

Note that there will be a pause after a question is posted while the Chat guest speaker composes a response to the question. So please be patient! During these pauses, the Moderator will post occasional information about the CSEFEL Web site or about other relevant topics. Because some Chat participants enter the Chat in the middle of the session, some of these messages may be posted more than once.

Questions will be posted in the order they're received, unless there's some obvious reason to group similar questions together. Participants may send follow-up questions. If you do send a follow-up question, please remind the guest and other participants of the earlier question (something like "In my earlier question about the third-grader's reading difficulty…") because it's easy to forget earlier questions in the long list of questions that occur during the Chat session.

If your question is not answered by the time the Chat session ends at 9 pm Eastern Time / 8 pm Central Time, the question and its answer will be included in the Chat transcript that will be made available online approximately 3 weeks from today.

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Or for instructions on sending messages during the Chat, see this additional section of that page: http://ecap.crc.uiuc.edu/info/ecapchat-csefel.html#procedure.

CSEFELmoderator
Now let's begin our Chat. Professor Fox, we have a question that we received in advance of the session.

I teach a preschool class of 3- to 5-year-old children. Nicky is 3 years old and is having a hard time leaving the playground. When I ask him to line up, he runs away, begins screaming, and refuses to move. Often my teaching assistant has to take the rest of the class in while I am struggling with him.

Lise Fox
You might think about giving Nicky a warning prior to asking him to line up. Usually warnings are given to the entire group. Nicky may need a personal warning. Try a countdown. Tell him "5 minutes, then inside"; return to tell him "3 minutes, then inside"; "1 minute, then inside"; and then go and offer your hand: "Nicky, time to go in. Do you want to hold my hand or walk by yourself?" You may also want to begin talking to him about a fun thing that he can do when he returns to the classroom: "When you get in, you can play in blocks or feed the bunny."

CSEFELmoderator
Chat participants can begin to send their questions. Meanwhile, Professor Fox, here's another question that we received prior to the Chat.

The other day, one of my 5-year-old boys climbed a tree and refused to come down. I know he is going through a tough time. His parents are divorcing, and his father has recently left their home. I didn't know how to get him out of the tree. I can't climb up to get him, so I just waited until he came down. What should I have done?

Lise Fox
First ask the child to come down using a calm and supportive tone of voice. For example, "Ricky, I need you to come down from the tree. Climbing trees is not OK on the playground. Children can get hurt when they climb trees." If the child responds with "I don't want to…I can climb trees…see how high I am," you might just try to reflect back what the child is saying. For example, "You don't want to get down. You climbed the tree. You are way up high" and then repeat the rule.

I suspect that the child has retreated to the top of the tree to gain an adult's attention. Keep the child calm and talking with you by mirroring back what he says and then look for an opportunity to suggest that when he comes down, you could do something special with him (sit in the swing, go on a nature walk). These suggestions should not be offered as bribes, but as alternatives to staying in the tree. Stay calm, don't leave, and keep a posture of support and caring.

Therese
Dr. Fox, can you recommend any strategies to stop a child from escalating to a tantrum when you ask him/her to do something? I know you shouldn't back down after making a request, but I would like to avoid tantrums whenever possible.

Lise Fox
Therese, you may want to look and see whether you can see the beginning of the resistance. If you can see the beginning, such as the child frowning, or pulling back, think about offering a choice, which gives you an out. If you have already posed the expectation, and you need to follow through, you might decrease the demand for the child. For example, sit for one minute or try painting for two minutes, and then you can return to the computer.

CSEFELmoderator
Professor Fox, here's our next question.

Emma is a child in my class who will not come to circle. Sometimes, I will physically move her to be with the group, and she will begin to hit and kick me to get away.

Lise Fox
You have to consider why Emma is trying to get out of circle. Is it because she is bored? Is it because she is on a different developmental level than the rest of the children and does not understand the activities of circle time? Is it because there is something in the room that she would rather be doing?

You may need to change the activities of circle to get and maintain Emma's participation. Consider singing her favorite song as the first activity. Offer her manipulatives to hold while in circle. As you build up her tolerance for being with the group, you may want to limit your expectation for "hanging in" with the group.

You could start by having her sit for 3 minutes and then excuse her from circle. When she leaves, don't offer a favorite activity for her to do while the other children are in circle. Provide her with a quiet, medium interest activity that she can do. If she asks to rejoin circle, welcome her back.

CSEFELmoderator
Chat participants, as you've all arrived safely in the CSEFEL Chat room, on your way here you have undoubtedly passed through the CSEFEL Web site: http://csefel.uiuc.edu/. We encourage you to also visit CSEFEL's sister project, the Center for Evidence-Based Practice: Young Children with Challenging Behavior, at the University of South Florida. That Center's Web site can be found at http://challengingbehavior.fmhi.usf.edu/index.html. The Center's mission is to promote the use of evidence-based practice to meet the needs of young children who have, or are at risk for, problem behavior.

Tabitha
How much of children's use of "no" is more based on what they hear from parents who use "no," "don't," "stop," "quit it," etc., rather than just the normal tendency to exercise some control in their lives?

Lise Fox
Tabitha, as you know, "no" is one of the first words we see children using. And many toddlers like to practice the power of "no." With older preschoolers, you may see the use of "no" in imitation of hearing parents or peers. For many children, "no" may be their message that they need more information or guidance about what's coming up next.

CSEFELmoderator
As mentioned earlier, Lise Fox is a professor in the Department of Child and Family Studies of the University of South Florida (USF) in Tampa, Florida. Dr. Fox is a co-principal investigator for the Department of Education (OSEP) funded Center for Evidenced Based Practice: Young Children with Challenging Behavior and a faculty member with the U.S. Department of Health and Human Service, Child Care and Head Start, funded Center on the Social and Emotional Foundations for Early Learning.

Dr. Fox has been a classroom teacher, teacher educator, program developer, and researcher. She was a faculty member in the Department of Special Education at the University of Florida from 1989-1994 where she was engaged in the development of several model teacher education programs. She joined the faculty of the Department of Child and Family Studies of the Louis de la Parte Florida Mental Health Institute in 1994. Her accomplishments at USF include the development of a model early intervention program for young children with autism (Individualized Support Project) and the development of model approaches to working with young children with challenging behavior in natural environments (child care, community, home). She is well known for her skills in practical approaches to addressing issues surrounding the inclusion of young children with problem behavior in community settings. She has numerous publications in the area of positive behavior support, early intervention, and the inclusion of children with disabilities.

Veronica
I have a question with regard to an older child with a diagnosis of autism. He is generally compliant except when wanting access to particular reinforcers. For example, lately he is perseverating on all Arthur (Marc Brown) books. He likes one in particular. If he is in the town library and that specific book is not in, it could escalate into a meltdown. I can often negotiate with him but not at all times. Depending upon the variables (tired, time of day, etc.), it can be difficult. Any ideas on how to work on this skill with him?

Lise Fox
Veronica, for a child with autism, understanding that the book will not be there can be difficult. Since this child enjoys stories, you might try a social story. Social stories provide children with autism with a script of what can be expected in different situations. You could develop a social story about the book not being in the library and how he can handle the situation when it occurs. (See Carol Gray’s Web site at http://www.thegraycenter.org.)

CSEFELmoderator
You can find additional resources on "What to Do When Children Say 'NO!'" in the supplement to this Chat session. This supplement is available on the CSEFEL Web site at this URL: http://csefel.uiuc.edu/chat/fox-sup.html.

Family Advocate
Will you be discussing the importance of a functional behavioral assessment?

Lise Fox
Family Advocate, I'm glad you brought that up! A functional assessment is a process that can be used to understand the purpose of problem behavior. When dealing with children with persistent problem behavior, doing a functional assessment can guide the development of behavior supports. The functional assessment process will result in the development of hypothesis statements about the purpose or “function” of the problem behavior. Once that purpose is identified, a behavior support plan can be developed. The behavior support plan will include prevention strategies that are used to change the triggers of problem behavior, skills to teach that replace the problem behavior, and new ways to respond to problem behavior when it occurs.

Foxy
Hi. I have a 4-year-old who is extremely fearful in new situations. I have to carefully explain what's going to happen, and we still have problems with her being overly fearful. Then she starts saying "No!" when we have to go to the new place. Any ideas?

Lise Fox
Foxy, I wonder if your 4-year-old may be practicing the emotion of fear and the responses of adults in reaction to her expression. You may want to make sure that you are not overly attentive in reaction to this behavior. Continue to do the preparation and maybe add a storybook that you have written with her about new places. Also, add into your preventions lots of discussion about feelings and what feeling words mean. Help her identify the strategies she might use when she experiences those feelings.

Family Advocate
Could you talk about the importance of parent participation in using positive behavior supports?

Lise Fox
Family Advocate, parent participation is vital to the development of behavior support plans. When families are at the table and team with the teacher, the interventions they develop are much more powerful and result in meaningful outcomes.

Juli
Regarding the child who does not want to be at circle—we have figured out a way to get him to stay for a few minutes and then allowed that child to leave the circle to go to an area with a moderate activity.... How do you recommend handling the other 17 who would like to go to that special place and do that activity? It certainly looks like a reward to them—sit for a few minutes, and I can go on to something else....

Lise Fox
Juli, I'm hoping that your circle is very interesting for the other 17 children, and if all the other children want to leave, you should rethink your circle activities.

CSEFELmoderator
Remember that you may send a question at any time to the CSEFEL staff. Just email your question to csefel@uiuc.edu. You can also phone in a question to 877-275-3227. CSEFEL staff are usually available between 8-12 and 1-5 (Central Time) on business days.

kelly
I have an 18-month-old son who will make it known in public that he is there, by screaming, not wanting to stay in the cart/stroller, and saying no to whatever I ask him to do. Is this normal, and how can I get him to understand that we have to listen? If I am dealing with this sort of behavior now, how will it be in a couple of years—will I be dealing with an even more strong willed child?

Lise Fox
Kelly, it is typical for 18-month-olds to assert their "power." Think about using these strategies: warn your child prior to going somewhere, provide your child with activities to do in the stroller or cart, let your child know when the activity is going to end (keep in mind that the tolerance of an 18-month-old for shopping, etc., is probably 30 minutes max.). If your child begins screaming, respond with support. Ask what he wants, reassure him that the activity will end, and give him some kind of marker for how it will end. (For example, two more aisles, then pay, then bye-bye.)

Veronica
Thank you for your response to my question regarding accessing books at the library. I am familiar with social stories and have used them with very good results with a number of children; however, this child does not seem to "connect" to them. I wonder whether you could offer some recommendations on other ideas to use before the behavior, and what you would do once the tantrum did occur. Thank you.

Lise Fox
Veronica, when the tantrum occurs, respond with "You are upset; they don't have the book you want. Let's think of a solution to your problem. You can ask the librarian to see when the book will come back, or we can pick a different book." If the child does not connect with social stories, you may want to make sure that you do enough repeated readings so that the child internalizes the script. You may also want to examine the symbolic level of the social story. If you are only using text, you may try adding drawings or photos to facilitate the child’s understanding and interest.

Barbie
Dr. Fox, what are some resources on functional behavior support?

Lise Fox
Barbie, go to our CSEFEL Web site. There is a What Works Brief #9 with lots of resources on functional assessment. Another good source is http://www.challengingbehavior.org. Go to the PBS section for lots of resources.

CSEFEL Editor
NOTE: The What Work Briefs are located at http://csefel.uiuc.edu/whatworks.html. Scroll down the page to Brief 9: What Are Children Trying to Tell Us?: Assessing the Function of Their Behavior. This Brief is available in English as an HTML or PDF page, and in Spanish as an HTML page. A corresponding handout is also available in both English and Spanish.

CSEFELmoderator
Professor Fox, here is a question that we received prior to the Chat.

I have a child in my class who loves the train track that is in my block corner. He won't let any other child play with the train, and he always wants to be there. What should I do?

Lise Fox
First, you need to make sure that the train set will accommodate two or more children. For example, there should be enough track (doubles of the important pieces), multiples of the objects the children love (e.g., tunnels), and multiple trains (engine, car, caboose). Otherwise, the play space won't adequately support children who are not at a social play level.

If you have enough materials, you should teach the children in your class how many children the play area can accommodate. You can do that by talking with them, developing a little book about the centers where you play with friends, and by providing a visual in the center that indicates how many children can play.

Then, you should teach the child who is having problems the rule—for example, "the trains are for three children…when you play with trains there will be two other children who can play too." This child may also need visual support to separate his train materials from the other children. You can provide that by separating the play materials into different containers and giving each child a mat to set up his or her track.

EDR
Can you suggest some good books for parents on dealing with difficult children?

Lise Fox
EDR, The Explosive Child by Ross Greene or Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline by Becky Bailey may be helpful.

Kristine
I have a question about transitioning from a regrouping time. We have a couple of scheduled breaks in the day and an option for the student to have a break at other times, often at the teacher's discretion. The student calms down with the breaks, but it is often difficult to get the student back into the classroom to work. We use timers and visual schedules to assist. Sometimes, the student is not calm and ready to work when back in the classroom because the student did not want to go back and became very upset with the transition. Any ideas?

Lise Fox
Kristine, try making sure that the activity the student is returning to is reinforcing and motivating. This sounds like a school-age child. If so, pay attention to the things he likes. For example, Spiderman. Perhaps his math worksheet can involve Spiderman figures to count or Spiderman word problems to solve. By having a motivating activity, the child may be less resistant.

CSEFELmoderator
Tonight's Chat session is the inaugural event in the CSEFEL Chat series for the 2004-2005 academic year. The next CSEFEL Chat will be held on Thursday, November 18, at the same time (that is, 8-9 PM ET / 7-8 PM CT / 6-7 PM MT / 5-6 PM PT). This Chat is "Classroom Environments That Work: Preventing Problem Behavior" with Micki Ostrosky and Tweety Yates of the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign. The guests will discuss a number of environmental variables that impact children's social-emotional development and children's challenging behavior. See the CSEFEL Chat page for more information: http://csefel.uiuc.edu/chat.html.

The third and fourth Chats in the CSEFEL series are scheduled for January and March. On Wednesday, January 26, 2005, Matt Timm of Tennessee Voices for Children will present a Chat on "Creating Home/Program Partnerships That Work: Supporting Children with Problem Behavior." He will discuss strategies for working collaboratively with families to promote children's social-emotional development and address problem behavior. This Chat will also be held from 8-9 PM ET / 7-8 PM CT / 6-7 PM MT / 5-6 PM PT.

On Wednesday, March 30, 2005, the Chat topic will be "Leadership Strategies for Supporting Children's Social and Emotional Development and Addressing Challenging Behavior." In this Chat, Barbara Smith, Ph.D., of the University of Colorado at Denver, will discuss strategies, tools, and resources available for administrators to use in their efforts to help early care providers support children's social-emotional development and address challenging behavior. This Chat will be held from 2-3 PM ET / 1-2 PM CT / 12 noon-1 PM MT / 11 AM- 12 noon PT.

EDR
My grandson has to be kept busy all the time—I mean REALLY busy—physically, or he misbehaves. Is this normal? Shouldn't children be able to relax but still behave according to the rules of the house?

Lise Fox
EDR, I'm not sure how old your grandson is... but kids need to be busy. Often children are not getting enough play time or playing physically until they're exhausted. I'd look there first and make sure that he has a lot of active play opportunities. If he gets so revved up he can't calm down, doing sensory activities such as playdoh, water play, painting, may be soothing.

Maril
My 27-month-old goes to a family child care provider two days per week. Today, he pushed another child right in front of me at pick up, but our provider says he never does that during the day, that he plays very nicely. What's up with that—is he testing me? How should I react?

Lise Fox
Maril, the function of that behavior could be "Look at me, Mommy." My response would be to redirect my child and say, "Pushing is not OK. Pushing hurts our friends." And I would leave it at that. You don't want to make such a big deal that your child has a reason for a repeat performance.

CSEFELmoderator
Chat participants may be interested in the series of five Training Modules prepared by the CSEFEL staff. The modules were designed to help administrators, educators, and family members address the social-emotional needs of young children. The content of the modules is consistent with evidence-based practices identified through a thorough review of the literature.

Module 1 deals with Classroom Preventive Practices. Module 2 discusses Social-Emotional Teaching Strategies. Modules 3A and 3B consider Individualized Intensive Interventions. Module 4 presents Leadership Strategies. These modules are available in full text, in both English and Spanish, on the CSEFEL Web site. See the Training Modules page at http://csefel.uiuc.edu/modules.html.

EDR
Do you think more preschoolers demonstrate "challenging behaviors" now than a generation ago, or do we simply have more labels for challenging behaviors than we did then?

Lise Fox
EDR, I'm not really sure. It's a fact that we have more children in group care situations, and group care can be difficult for young children. When you talk to teachers, they are supporting many more children who are in poverty, which has a high correlation to problem behavior. So, I'm not aware of research that might compare 20 years ago to now. However, the prevalence of children with problem behavior is a concern.

CSEFELmoderator
Chat participants may also be interested in the series of What Works Briefs. The Briefs are summaries of effective practices for supporting children's social-emotional development and for preventing challenging behaviors. Most of the Briefs are available full text on the CSEFEL Web site. Some of them are also available in Spanish. See the What Works Briefs page at http://csefel.uiuc.edu/whatworks.html.

You can find additional resources on "What to Do When Children Say 'NO!'" in the supplement to this Chat session. This supplement is available on the CSEFEL Web site at this URL: http://csefel.uiuc.edu/chat/fox-sup.html.

CSEFELmoderator
Here's our next question: Hi, I'm currently working in a preschool classroom, and there's one boy about age 4 who always says no when it comes to the large group. No matter what activities we're doing, he just won't participate nor listen, and he starts sitting in the corner and makes noise to catch other people's attention. I have a really hard time keeping him involved in the group activities. What should I do when he says no?

Lise Fox
Concerning the question about the 4-year-old boy, I'm thinking that this child may have issues about the large group. Perhaps the density of children or the reduction in attention. What makes me think this is that you are saying it is large group and he engages in behavior to get attention. A functional assessment would give you the answer to this problem. Once you've identified the function through the assessment, you will be able to think of preventions and new skills to teach him.

Family Advocate
Positive behavior supports are not quick fixes. Shouldn't we be expecting small changes leading to eventually replacing the negative behavior with a positive one? Don't we need to review what we've tried and look for other strategies when things are working?

Lise Fox
Family Advocate, yes. Positive Behavior Support involves the instruction of new skills, and that takes time. When a plan doesn't work, the team has to examine whether the interventions were implemented as planned, or whether the presumed function of the behavior was wrong, or whether the child is responding to a new set of triggers.

CSEFELmoderator
Professor Fox, here's our next question.

A child in my classroom will not sit at the table to eat his snack or lunch. He sits briefly, grabs his food, and then runs around the room while eating his food. What should I do?

Lise Fox
The rule has to be "sit to eat." I would state that each time I redirected the child, minimizing the use of "no" or scolding the child. Initially, shadow the child. When he gets up to leave, take the food from his hand, and restate the rule "sit to eat." In addition, you may want to make sure that the foods being offered are his favorites to increase his motivation to sit to eat. Each time he darts away, be there to remove the food and say, "sit to eat." Praise him generously when he sits.

alka
How can we help children learn to control their own behavior? I'm a teacher of 3- to 5-year-olds.

Lise Fox
Alka, a good place to start is to make sure that your teaching and activities are rich in helping children learn about their emotions, how to problem solve, and how to calm down when they are upset.

CSEFELmoderator
Professor Fox, here's a follow-up from alka.

alka
Do you mean, with books about emotions? What other activities might help?

Lise Fox
Alka, you might use literature. But you should also expand on any ideas you introduce with books in your art activities, in role plays, and when children are having a difficult time. In some classrooms, teachers have adopted techniques that they teach children to use. For example, the turtle technique offers children a visual of a turtle and shows that when a turtle gets upset, he pulls in and then thinks about what to do next. The turtle technique may be found in training module #2 on the CSEFEL Web site. If you use the turtle technique in your classroom, you can think of all kinds of fun activities related to the turtle that the children can do (e.g., puppets, make their own turtle, write a book about turtles). Remember, whenever you seek to teach your children new skills (e.g., using a problem-solving approach), you must teach it repeatedly and systematically. Your goal should be to build the child’s fluency level in using the new skill within daily interactions and routines.

CSEFELmoderator
Professor Fox, here's our next question.

One of the mothers of a toddler in my class is having a very difficult time getting her child to sit in his car seat. Any advice?

Lise Fox
First, the parent needs to stay calm throughout the routine. Rather than scolding or punishing, she needs to be supportive and firm. The parent should say to the child "sit in your car seat. I will help you" in response to any crying or resistance. Equally important is to not let the child out of the car seat until the car is stopped.

In addition, the parent may need your help in trying to think about why the child is crying. First thing to check is the comfort of the child. Is the car seat too hot? Belts too tight? Plastic damaged and irritating to the child? Also, think about whether the child understands where they are going. Sometimes, a parent scoops up a child, and off they go without providing a warning (e.g., "in a minute, time to go bye-bye" paired with showing car keys) or letting the child know where they are going. Often, all the child needs is information on what might come next. For example, the parent can say, "Time to go bye-bye. We are going to Grandma's house" and show the child a photo of where they are going. It may also be helpful to have a car goodie box that has things the toddler can play with (and loves) while riding in the car (e.g., koosh ball, stuffed animal).

alka
Is there anything written about "Positive Behavioral Supports" for parents?

Lise Fox
Alka, go to http://www.challengingbehavior.org. You will find user-friendly materials on PBS.

CSEFEL Editor
NOTE: The Web site of the Center for Evidence-Based Practices: Young Children with Challenging Behavior has a section of resources on Positive Behavior Support. It's located at http://challengingbehavior.fmhi.usf.edu/pbs.html.

lingling
How can we help preschoolers learn to share, and when they say "no," how should we react?

Lise Fox
Lingling, this is a common problem. I don't know whether children should be forced to give up an object or toy because someone else wants it. When children are playing, there should be enough materials so that children can play parallel.

CSEFELmoderator
Professor Fox, here's our next question.

My son loves going to visit his grandmother. When I go to pick him up, he refuses to leaves and runs to hide under the bed or behind the couch. I finally have to pick him up and put him in the car while he is kicking and screaming. My mother-in-law looks at me like I am a bad parent. Help!

Lise Fox
Oh, that must be hard for you. He may do this because he is having a fabulous time with his grandmother (often grandmothers are more indulgent than their parents) or because he is unsure of when he will see her again and is reluctant to part.

You may want to try the following. Develop a little book about going to Grandmother's house. You can write the script and draw it with your child. In the book, put down all the fun things your child gets to do at Grandmother's house, even include the things that you don't let him do (e.g., "At Grandmother's, I can have four cookies! I love cookies."). Then write about going home and the sequence you would like to see. For example, "Mama comes to get me in her blue car. She says 'say bye-bye to Grandmother, time to go home'. I give Grandmother a kiss and a hug. I love my Grandmother. I hold my Mama's hand and walk to the car."

If you can put something in the book about when your child will see his grandmother again, include that. Read the book several days before the visit. Read it so many times that your child can recite "his lines." Prior to dropping your child off, you should let him know what time you will be picking him up and remind him of the sequence that will occur.

alka
When I pick up my 3-1/2-year-old at his family child care home, he is very negative in his reactions to me—shouting no! no! and hitting me. His caregiver tells me he isn't like that all day. How should I react?

Lise Fox
Alka, I know that's disappointing to you. I think that I would greet my child enthusiastically, as you must be doing, and let him know that in a few minutes you need to leave and go home. Give him a little time to prepare for that transition before rushing out the door. If he resists, give him a time limit, 5 minutes until bye-bye. Then, model saying bye-bye to his caregiver and gently guide him to the car. Reassure him that he will come back tomorrow. And begin talking about the fun things you'll be doing at home.

lingling
When there is no other way to get enough materials, should we teach children to take turns? What's the better way to explain taking turns?

CSEFELmoderator
Chat participants, this will be our final question of tonight's Chat.

Lise Fox
Lingling, you might set a timer for the use of a favorite toy. You can discuss this rule in circle time.

CSEFELmoderator
The CSEFEL staff would like to thank you, Chat participants, for your helping us inaugurate this new series of online Chats. Thanks for sending your questions, and thanks also for your patience in waiting for responses. Please join us once again for our next CSEFEL Chat on Thursday, November 18, "Classroom Environments That Work: Preventing Problem Behavior" with Micki Ostrosky and Tweety Yates. As noted earlier, please see the Chat page at http://csefel.uiuc.edu/chat.html for more information.

And, of course, thank you, Professor Lise Fox, for debuting the CSEFEL Chat series and for sharing with us your wisdom and insight.

Lise Fox
Thank you, everybody. This was fun, and I hope I was able to provide you with ideas about how to support children with challenges. I'll offer more complete resources in the final transcript.

alka
Thank you very much for all your comments. This has been very helpful!

Erin B
Thank you, it was very informative!

curie
Thank you, Professor Fox.

CSEFELmoderator
Thanks again, Chat participants. Have a good evening.

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